Such terms are often used in a critical way that’s perhaps intended to suggest that monogamy is unnatural or unlikely to lead to fulfillment. The monogamous marriage was the only form of marriage.
A person who does this is sometimes called a serial monogamist. The phrase serial monogamy refers to the practice of being married several times in succession, or, more popularly, going from one monogamous long-term relationship to another. While monogamy is often seen as a traditional norm of human relationships, especially in Western cultures, not everyone shares this view. Though it has traditionally been associated with marriage, the term monogamous today is commonly used to describe people who are in a sexual relationship with or date only one person at a time. It comes from the Greek monógamos, meaning “marrying only once,” from mono-, “single” or “one,” and -gamy, meaning “marriage.” The same root is used in the words bigamous (being married to two people at the same time) and polygamous (being married to more than one person at a time). So much of my self-acceptance came from understanding the complexity of human sexuality and the different ways in which I could be bisexual within the constraints of monogamy.The first records of the word monogamous come from around 1770. Who you are attracted to and who you have sex with are not the only parts of one's sexuality. I refused to believe that I couldn’t be happily married while exploring it. As I embraced my bisexuality, I came to accept it as an integral part of my identity. When we talk about the concept of a non-monogamous relationship, a lot of people often associate it with cheating or swinging, when in reality they’re just a range of different relationship structures that simply aren’t monogamous. Biphobia had me resigned to the fact that I was never going to be a "true bisexual" if I was in a monogamous relationship with a cis het man.Ĭall it acceptance or call it a reckoning, but the final stage of my journey proved to be the most significant. More specifically, it involved: denial (I’m not really bisexual, I’m probably just confused) guilt (I feel like I’m cheating on him) frustration (why the hell is coming out so hard?) depression (there’s no point to this-I’m never going to truly experience what it means to be bisexual). In some ways, my bisexual journey mirrored the stages of grief. My friends and family put the focus on "saving" my relationship, implying that the success of my marriage was contingent on me "remaining" heterosexual: "What about my William? Are you going to leave him to be gay?" I believed that I had to choose my marriage or my sexuality. The stigma surrounding bisexuality made it that much harder to come out and live my truth publicly.
There was no way I could be bisexual while married to a man, I was told. People in relationships tend to outlive their single pals. What are 3 benefits of being monogamous In the USA, monogamy rates have increased significantly since the 1970s. I had been conditioned to believe that being bi meant a life of promiscuity and confusion. Monogamy, the practice of having only one sexual and/or romantic partner at a time, in itself is not a bad, lesser, or toxic structure for romantic relationships. It was only in 2018 that I started to come to terms with my bisexuality, but my internalized biphobia had me convinced that coming out meant I would no longer be happy in my relationship.
When I met my husband in 2017, I had been operating on the assumption that I was heterosexual. In such a relationship, both partners ‘see’ only each other and are generally faithful, loyal, and exclusive towards one another. Monogamy can be defined as a rule where you only have one sexual and/or emotional partner at a time. From my lived experience, it is especially difficult when you are already in a monogamous marriage. Monogamy is often referred to as a long-term relationship, a marriage, or simply a partnership. So we made this easily digestible A-to-Z guide to understanding non-monogamy instead. With hard-fought battles alongside softness and vulnerability, these stories highlight what it is to love others as well as ourselves.Ĭoming out as bisexual is not easy. The seminal book on non-monogamy, The Ethical Slut, was published in 1997but that shit is hard to read. Heres what you prefer, based on your zodiac sign. For Pride Month, Well+Good is joyfully celebrating the right to Love Out Loud with a collection of stories from the LGBTQ+ community. Astrology can indicate if a polyamorous or a monogamous relationship would be best for you.